Asking Eric: Friends side with person exhibiting abusive tendencies

Dear Eric: For years I was in a toxic, abusive relationship. Fortunately, I ended it and my family and friends supported me along the way. Now I’m in a new relationship with a healthy person but the tables have turned. Through couples and individual therapy, I have realized that, due to an undiagnosed neurodivergence and childhood trauma, I have become the abuser (verbally/emotionally).

I am sick to realize this and actively/aggressively trying to change. Here’s the problem: when I share about some of the struggles I’m going through, almost none of my friends or family believe I could be causing any problems in my current relationship. They all take my side and assume my current partner must be gaslighting or manipulating me into believing I’m the problem. This is simply not true.