Dear Annie: My friend’s affair confession has become my emotional burden

Dear Annie: I have a friend I have known for years, the kind of friend who can call out of the blue and pick up right where we left off. Recently, she invited me over for coffee, and before I had even finished my first sip, she burst into tears and confessed that many years ago she had an affair while she was married. She said she has carried the shame ever since and can barely live with herself now.

I felt for her, of course. She was clearly upset, and I tried to be kind. But now her confession seems to have become my burden. She calls often to revisit every detail, every regret and every “what if.” Somehow, I have gone from being a listening ear to feeling like I am supposed to help carry the weight of choices I did not make and secrets I did not keep.